Uganda: Through The Eyes Of A Kenyan (Part I)

Dr. Mitch Egwang as an MC at TPF 4

“…you want another rap? Yes Sebbo!” Remember the famous Museveni (M7) rap song? Uganda is unapologetically very popular among many Kenyans. Talk of the Migingo Island; ‘if Migingo Island belongs to Kenya, then the waters belong to Uganda’ it was joked. 

Do you recall the Tusker Project Fame (TPF) TV show? Dr. Mitch Egwang & Juliana Kanyamozi were squarely involved as MCee and a judge respectively. How about the Anne Kansiime comedy show that aired on Citizen TV? Patrick Salvador at Churchill @40? Who forgets the tale tell of ‘Ngombe za Museveni?  Do these rejuvenate your memory about Uganda? Well, read along.

“For God and My Country”. This is the Motto of Uganda, the second largest landlocked country in the world (after Ethiopia), the second largest producer of bananas in the world (after India).  The 31st largest country by population and 81st largest geographically in the world; the East African nation with a population of over 45 million (World Population 2019) is also known as the Pearl of Africa.

National animal of Republic of Uganda

Uganda boasts of 11% of birds world species found in it, no wonder the grey Crowned Crane at the center of its flag symbolizing the country’s national animal. 

I bet the name ‘Uganda Cranes’ resonates with most soccer lovers across the continent. Uganda remains to be one of the sought after countries with an annual turnover record of 1 million tourists; you have to give it up to its ever hospitable and very friendly citizens.

Today, I visited myself. This day; Wednesday, 29th March 2017, during my maiden road trip to Kampala, and my first time ever in Uganda, gives me fond memories and curves a smile on my lips whenever Uganda is mentioned. No doubt Kenya is green, but the grass is ‘literally’ greener on the other side! You know, like the bible verse (Psalms 23:2) 'He makes me lie down in green pastures…?' Yes, that is exactly the green we are talking about!

Unnamed Road in Uganda

Any ‘road tripper’ may agree with me that the corridor from the Kenya-Uganda (Malaba) border, all the way to the first town into Uganda is covered with green vegetation if not thick bushes with tall trees that gives a visually pleasing and eyeful scenery. For a moment there, while driving on this stretch of a road, you may think you are out of Africa!

I remember, after checking in at The Fairway Hotel, I went to the spa for you know the obvious reasons; the over 12 hours on the road, Kampala traffic notwithstanding! I only managed to visit the craft Market as this was a work related trip and I was working on a borrowed time. I needed to be on my way back the following evening.

Fairway hotel, Kafu Rd, Nakasero, Kampala Uganda

After a year anniversary, I was back in Kampala Uganda. This time it was a vacation, on our way to Kigali for the Arsenal Africa Easter festivals. Thanks to a couple of friends from the Arsenal Uganda Supporters Club, we visited several places including the very busy Downtown Kampala.

It is worth noting that the prices of items are unbelievably very affordable! Here, money exchange hands in several currencies including Kenyan shillings! It’s very rare in Kenya whether uptown or downtown to buy assortments using a different currency except of course; if you are paying your hotel bill in dollars in one of those ‘high end’ hotels or at the Duty free shop inside the airport.

Kenya, for example, a country that borders Uganda to the East has had lots of its citizens cross into Uganda whether on grounds of education, work, trade or even through intermarriage. ‘Lukikko’, ‘Buganda Kingdom’, ‘Milton Obote’, ‘Kabaka’, ‘Idi Amin’ are a few known historical names amongst many Kenyans who went through the 8.4.4 education system that had a subject in the lower primary called Geography, History & Civics (G.H.C).

Forest Whitaker as Idd Amin

Idi Amin in particular, the story of the infamous dictator, was widely taught  in Kenyan history books both in the primary & secondary levels that the name Idi Amin and Uganda became synonymous.

Historians say, during his period as the president of Uganda (after overthrowing the government while president Obote was away in Singapore), about 300,000 civilians were killed and millions displaced including the Asian community that was expelled out of Uganda in 1972.

Last King of Scotland - Main Movie Casts

After being exiled in Libya & Saudi Arabia for close to 24 years, Idi Amin Dada, born around 1925, and who doubled up as a politician and a soldier; died on August 16, 2003 due to Kidney failure (African History - Idi Amin).

The movie, The Last King of Scotland, starring Forest Whitaker, is based on events of Idi Amin's rule in Uganda. For your understanding and viewership pleasure, here is the movie link!

A Kenyan family friend, Parnwel, a practicing advocate and an Alumnus of Makerere University narrates to me about his campus years back in the day. As I gave him my ears, he was beside himself every time I asked about Uganda women. “Ugandan women are what every Kenyan man should have.” He stated briefly. Sigh! At last he said something! I could read in between the lines and I didn’t want to press more, so instead I chose to focus on Makerere University.

Makerere University, University Rd, Kampala Uganda

One of the distinguished, prestigious institutions of higher learning in Africa, ranked number 1 in Uganda, 5th in Africa and number 771 in the world; Makerere University is very famous among Kenyans and especially among Kenyan parents of the 80’s and 90’s who would do anything to enroll their children here for tertiary education.

Former president of Kenya (Mwai Kibaki) at Makerere varsity

Celebrated individuals from Kenya who have studied at the institution include; former president Mwai Kibaki, Oginga Odinga (first vice president) and renowned Novelist Ngugi wa Thiong’o. 

Other notable alumni are; former presidents Benjamin Mkapa(tz), Julius Nyerere(tz), Joseph Kabila(congo) & Milton Obote(ug). Bobi Wine, Ali Mazrui, Aloisea Inyumba, Janet Museveni and Kizza Besyige are also among the many others. (Makerere Alumni). Established in 1922 as Uganda Technical College, by 2018, Makerere had over 35,000 students enrolled at the institute.

Taking a Modern Coast night bus that leaves Nairobi at 2100 hrs for Kampala, we expected to reach Namirembe Road, the Modern Coast Terminal in Kampala at least around 0600 hrs. Having shared our travel itinerary with our hosts, they were already at the bus station as from 0700 hrs. It turned out that we were to meet them at around midday thanks to the Kampala traffic congestion!

Kampala - Entebbe express highway

Believe it or not, Kampala traffic is that bad, that it is listed by the British Broadcasting Cooperation (BBC) in the top 10 monster traffic jams in the world. Very striking resemblances with Nairobi traffic jam which also made it to the BBC listing.

A little rain, poor drainage, narrow roads, round-abouts, bad road networks are part of the major culprits of traffic jams in these two cities. 

“Widening the roads, proper road marking, introduction of intelligent traffic lights, flyovers and stringent traffic rules could greatly reduce the traffic jam” a frustrated motorist noted in one of the Ugandan dailies.

Ever heard the word Uglish? What comes to your mind? Well, just like the Kenyan Swanglish, Uglish is the Ugandan English; a unique flavored localized version of the English Language being spoken. 

You may fail to recognize a Ugandan by their looks but as sure as it can get, you will never miss to tell an Uglish (complemented by the accent it comes with) as soon as the natives start to speak.

Some written articles give examples of Uglish words and their meanings like; extend means ‘move out of the way’, borrow me some money  means ‘lend me some money’, campuser  means ‘a university student’ etc.  


A Ugandan, Bernard Sabiiti actually has written a dictionary for Uglish! Travelling gooners planning to attend the #TugendeKampala2020 will find this dictionary very resourceful!           

Chukwunenye, a Nigerian friend and a former colleague one time during a random office Skype call, couldn't help himself but exclaim how Kenyans have a very particular accent. 

I was taken in awe to think that all along I knew Kenyans had no accent at all?! Over and above that, I find Ugandan accent very enticing, sometimes funny but enjoyable to listen to two Ugandans conversing in English. 

The Kenyan-Mexican based actress Lupita Nyongo starring in the movie Queen of Katwe as Nakku Harriet, mastered so well the Ugandan accent that truly left me drooling. No question, after the South African flavored English accent and the Nigerian Pidgin English, Uglish accent is definitely on my bait list! The official languages in Uganda are Swahili & English; however Luganda is widely spoken across the country.

A Ugandan lady.

Stellah Nimusiima from Uganda

  

In a world where you can be anything, choose to be a Ugandan! Una, a lady friend from Uganda who works with Marie Stopes in Kampala told me one day.  We met at the Kenya-Uganda border (Malaba) at the immigration. She was en route to Kenya to pay a call on a Kenyan friend.

It is undeniable that a lot has been said about the Ugandan woman, fondly known as ‘Nyabo’ in the local dialect, Luganda. Very beautiful, humble, submissive, sexy, charming, flirty, voluptuous, are some of the adjectives that have been used to describe her. And ooh yes, Ugandan women are very fertile too!

Mariam Nabatanzi, Uganda's most fertile woman.

We all remember the story of Mariam Nabatanzi, married off at 12 years of age, she has had five set of twins, four sets of triplets and five sets of quadruplets! Incredibly unbelievable right?!

At just 39 years, Mariam is a mother of 44 children with 38 surviving and six dead. She is described as a woman with unusually large ovaries.  Real strength of a woman! Mi Amigos, Shaggy surely did get this one right with that song.

A Ugandan woman.

Listed at number 8 on the top 10 list of countries with most curvaceous and well-endowed women in the African continent(internet sources); it is only fair to say that we (read: women rights activists) cannot blame the Ugandan Junior Minister of Tourism, Wildlife and Antiques for introducing the ‘Miss Curvy Uganda’ pageant to boost Uganda tourism; can we? 

Let’s leave it at that for now since the matter is still at large. We talk about Kachabali in the coming series of #TugendeKampala2020.

Arsenal Africa Fans’ Festival goes to Kampala, Uganda in 2020. Hosted by Arsenal Uganda Supporter's Club, this is going to be the 4th Edition of the annual Easter bonanzas with the previous editions happening in Dar es Salaam, Kigali & Mombasa respectively. About eight nations are projected to participate with Zimbabwe, Zambia and South-Sudan expected to make their grand entries. Ms. Ninaz Sherry had to say the below about Arsenal Fans in Uganda.

Members of Arsenal Fans fans in Uganda at a past charity.

It was founded in 2010 by Ms. Ninaz Sherry & Dr Hannington Mwesigye.  “As our first chapter, Arsenal Uganda Supporters Club created a game day ritual of watching matches together”. Ninaz begun. “Arsenal Fans in Kampala would congregate together at different places including City Ville, Bettina Pub and Equator at Sheraton Hotel. What began as few friends meeting up for the game, grew into bigger”.

“After watching a couple of games together”, she continued, “talks about being recognized and creating a footprint as Arsenal Fans in Uganda started and this saw the creation of a WhatsApp group in 2014 and we named it Arsenal Family Uganda.”

Ms. Ninaz further explains that; since then, Arsenal fans in Uganda have held several activities together as a fans’ club including; organizing charity football tournaments to raise money for the disadvantaged, participating in football competitions as well having 'get-togethers' as an Arsenal family.

Arsenal Fans Supporters' Club - Kampala, Uganda.

“Love for ‘the beautiful game’ spans into generations, and Arsenal Uganda Supporter's Club is committed to creating space and opportunities for fans to support our club together. From family-friendly events and meet-ups to a safe and inviting match-day experience; Arsenal Uganda Supporters Club aims to be a fan club where Arsenal Fans of all kinds in Uganda feel at home”, Ninaz concludes.

Hash tags created on twitter are:

#TugendeKampala2020 and

#TurambuleUganda2020.
Follow me on twitter @biwottlisa, and Lisa Biwott on Facebook 

Watch-out for Uganda: Through The Eyes of  A Kenyan (Part II): Lets talk about, Kampala night life, Kachabali, Kampala city, Waragi, Rolex, Luwombo, Kobelo, Nile Special, longest river in the world & the third most beautiful currency note in the world among many other interesting facts on Uganda!

With utmost regards and sincere appreciation to:

Jacob Katumba
Fadhil Bora
Stellah Nimusiima
Ninaz Sherry
All +256 crew who willingly shared information with me.

Sources

https://www.monitor.co.ug/SpecialReports/traffic-jam-Kampala-being-addressed-/688342-4351870-13085oez/index.html
https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-19716687

https://kabiza.com/kabiza-wilderness-safaris/uglish-ugandan-english-101-for-visitors-to-
uganda/
https://www.newvision.co.ug/new_vision/news/1486615/makerere-ranks-5th-africa